BlahBlah starts with a 'S'
by jamie55
Summary: Ted got a date and no one can seem to remember her name, not even when her stalker/boyfriend shows up. I don't want to spoil it but trust me it's a Barney/Robin fic.
1. Chapter 1

Barney looks at Robin, longing to kiss her, wanting to hold her. To push her hair behind her ear, to stroke her cheek gently. God, when did he become such a girl?

Lately he's had a hard time deciding where the best place to sit is, these are of course last minute decisions. If he sits next to her he gets to smell her hair, 'accidently' sit too close and, if Ted brings a date over and they have to make room, they squish in real close and it's almost like he's with her.

Ted's date's last night - Sabrina was her name? – seemed very nice, until her boyfriend walked in. Well she called him a stalker, but either way he was big. But before that happened she asked around how they all met, just like that blah-blah girl, and they retold how Ted met Marshall, how Marshall met Lily, how Barney met Marshall and then how Ted met Robin. They could laugh about it now; both Ted and Robin seemed over it. They've both moved on and it was just a part of their past.

Then Sarah asked Barney how he met Robin, at this point Robin had gone to the bathroom. Barney's reaction was quaint to say the least. It was how Marshall figured it out.

"So Barney, tell me, how'd you meet Robin? Was it love at first sight too?" Susan asked, turning to Lily she added, "Some girls have all the luck huh?" And giggled as Lily looked at her with a fake smile, raised eyebrows and a roll of the eyes, Samantha was annoying, but proceeded to direct her attention to Barney.

Barney had watched Robin leave and currently had one hand on her seat cushion which was still warm while the other amused itself with his empty tumbler. As soon as she was out of sight he turned his attention to the ice which still remained now that it was stricken from its alcoholic content. He had his thought fixed on the joke Robin had just made and was still smiling softly about it, until he heard Silvia's question. You would suspect that Barney would jump, laugh it off without success until Lily stare him down at which point a defeated Barney would simply and sadly shake his head which would be when Robin returns. Sally would be confused ask again and there you would see how Robin would react to the same question which she was asked over a year ago and during which time things had transpired between them. But that's not what happened.

"I introduced her to Ted." Barney responded his grin shyly fading back for a moment, his eyes continued to look into his tumble as his other hand came up to hold it as well.

"Oh well then how did that work out?" Scarlett innocently asked.

"What do you mean?" Barney's expression was serious but he still kept his eyes on his empty glass.

"Well if you were the one who hooked Ted and Robin up-"

"That's not exactly what happened-"Ted attempted to correct but was ignored.

"-then how did you and Robin finally get together?" While Barney attempt to think of a good answer – he wish he knew – Marshall cut in.

"Barney and Robin aren't a couple, they don't even like to be in a couple, in fact they don't even like the word couple. That would be like getting two people who hate chess to play chess against one another. All you get is a bunch of piece tossed on the floor." He had helped Lily out with her kindergarten class, they didn't like chess. "Isn't that right, Barney?" Barney's mouth opened and closed as if he was trying to say something but found no words. "Ted?" Marshall looked to Ted who was looking at Barney, who seemed to have just winced at seeing Marshall's now growing suspicion. "Lillypad?" He turned to his wife. One telepathic communication later, Marshall was clued in and decided to shut up. Meanwhile Sophie was still very confused but Robin came back and Ted found a change in conversation.

And that's why when Stephanie's boyfriend/stalker came by looking for a fight, Marshall didn't stop him. Barney saw his chance and stood up for Ted and Sasha's guy took him out back to fight. Barney got one good punch – right hook – in before Stacey's stalker/boyfriend messed him up. They watched for about 83 seconds before they couldn't take another minute. But before they did anything Stacey ran up to the big guy and they left together.

Barney had to go to the emergency room, he wouldn't wake up. He had a concussion and an open wound. Ted, Lily and Marshall took shifts in his room. Robin came in a few times but never for long, when it was her turn to keep a watch she would watch him a bit, see the machines monitoring him, his steady pulse and then tell the nurse she was going to the washroom or feign sickness and tell Ted to stay a little while longer or go to the vending machine. He woke up while Marshall was keeping an eye on him.

"Hey buddy," Marshall gently said relief sprung across his face.

"Hy.. Hey Marshall," he grinned, but he was clearly exhausted. "So did I lose?"

"Yeah." Barney chuckled a bit before it turned into coughs.

"Can't win them all..." then softening his smile, he asked, "Where's Robin?"

"Uh, she's, she's around. We decided to take shifts until you woke up."

"How long was I out?"

"About three hours now." Marshall said, "Barney I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"If I would've stopped that guy earlier or beat him up myself you wouldn't have ended up in the hospital."

"So why didn't you."

"I don't know, I thought... I thought that if I let you try and fight some guy Robin would have..." He trailed off; Barney knew what he was thinking. "But I didn't think he'd put you in the hospital."

"I hope not. It's fine Marshall, really. It wasn't your fault you were just trying to help." They then shared a true bro moment of mutual smiles. Barney offered a fist bump, which Marshall reciprocated, and then Marshall hugged him as he lay in his bed. After which Marshall left the room to get Ted, Lily and Robin.


	2. Chapter 2

Spoiler warning: up to the Benefits episode - 4.12

* * *

Robin was staring at the vending machine trying to decide between chocolate covered peanuts or chips. The chips would give her something to munch on, but the chocolate was chocolate and crunchy too. It wasn't a very important decision – it was only like a buck and a half – but it was a great distraction. She couldn't go back in that room. It was just so stupid of him to have gotten in that fight. Stupid Ted, why couldn't he fight the guy himself? Or Marshall; Marshall could've literally taken him down in one punch! But no, instead Barney took Scarlett's freakishly big boyfriend on all by himself (the guy was almost bigger than Marshall).

Stupid Barney.

"Hey Robin he's up!" Marshall said coming down the hall, a smile on his face.

"What?" Robin tentatively asked.

"Yeah he's fine, a little tired, but fine. I'm gonna go get Lily and Ted, keep an eye on him will ya?" He said barely stopping as he rushed to the cafeteria. He wasn't running, a nurse had told him off about that.

"Uh... okay... sure?" He barely heard her response, as he scurried to the cafeteria where Lily and Ted had gone down to get something for them to eat. She took one look up the hall to Barney's room and turned back. "As soon as I get chips."

**--**--**

Barney stared at the ceiling. He was in trouble. These _feelings_ were getting worse. He was willing to get beat to a pulp and even land in the hospital all in the hope that Robin might, _might_, hold his arm again and invite him to another hockey game. He was pathetic. Ever since he told her he loved her – which she didn't even get – he's been getting worse and worse. Closing his eyes he thought back to that moment, to that damn moment. He told her. He actually told her straight out 'I love you' and meant it. He should have timed it better. The door opened and in walked the devil herself.

"Robin. Hey, how are you?" He asked trying not to show just how happy he was to see her. She was the only person he wanted to see right now.

"How am I? Barney you're in the hospital," she seemed angry. He tried his best to shrug, a challenge in his situation and winced, he had a bad bruise on his shoulder. She softened when she saw this and asked, "Are you okay?", while taking a seat next to his bed.

"Of course I am," he scoffed playing it cool. "A few scrapes and bruises, please. I didn't even get any stitches!"

"Actually you got four." She said pointing to his left arm.

"What? How did that happen...?"

"You fell on a broken television set or something." She replied dismissing this detail as irrelevant. "Barney, don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Do what?! Don't try and take on a guy twice your size. Don't get yourself killed! And stop landing yourself in the hospital, you'd think you live here or something." She seemed angry again, she was hot when she was angry, Barney thought grinning to himself. "What are you smiling at? You almost got beat to death."

"You seem extremely worried." He noticed.

"Of course I'm worried you're my friend." She defended herself.

"Right." It was almost painful, they were friends; just friends.

"Just promise me you won't do anything stupid like that again." Robin said crossing her arms.

"What?" He chuckled.

"Promise me you won't try and kill yourself for Ted's sake again."

"I didn't-" he started but she cut him off.

"Oh yes you did. You got run over last spring when you ran to the hospital to see him and now you take on his date's boyfriend for him." She had a good point. "So just stop doing that."

"Robin I'm not-"

"Barney! You're in the hospital. The doctors were this close to declaring you went into a coma. You can't keep doing this."

"Relax I'm not gonna kill myself over you." Shit did he just say?

"What?" Robin heard and reacted.

"What." He lamely tried to pretend she misheard him.

"You just said... Did you just say?"

"No..." He chuckled nervously, "of course not. No, no, I didn't, I did not, no, no, I didn't."

"Barney, you just said you wouldn't kill yourself over... me? Over me! What's that suppose to mean?" Panic settled into her eyes and Barney tried to calm her down, desperate to not let her run out. This was not how he wanted her to figure it out.

"Robin, it's not like that." She stood up. "Look I didn't... I didn't mean it like that."

"How did you mean it?" She asked, anxiously.

"I..." He really had no clue how to answer her. If he told her he was in love with her she was sure to run out and they wouldn't be able to be friends, it would be weird and she would never let him get close to her.

"Barney," she said demanding an answer. "Barney, when you said... The other week when Ted and I ended the whole friends with benefit thing and you said... You were being serious." Robin connected the dots and Barney's heart sank. "You, you love me?" She said with a horrendous expression. Barney cursed himself and nodded sadly. "You love me?"

"Yeah..."

"You, Barney. Barney Stinson, you."

"That's my name." He offered her a tiny smile.

"Love. Love... Love?!" This was almost as painful as getting beat up. "LOVE!?!" Correction, he rather be back in the alley.

"I prefer the term 'feelings'," Robin glared at him, partially in disgust.

"Barney, you can't be in love with me." She said after a sigh in completely seriousness.

"I'm pretty sure I can."

"No, I mean you can't."

"Yeah I think I can."

"No I mean you CAN'T. It's just not a good idea and, and, and you just can't."

"Robin, I know you don't want me to and you have every right to be upset... But I'm not gonna bother you with it. We're friends, and I don't want to mess that up. So if we could just pretend this never happened..."

"No. No, no, no. I didn't mean it like... Barney you don't fall in love. You're Barney; you're the guy who wants to stay single forever; you're the guy who sleeps with one pillow and you're the guy who's scared to get too close to someone. You're Barney! You just don't do love. You can't be in love with me, you can't be in love with anybody." She was going on a rant.

"I'm in love with you." He said it quietly and so candidly making her stop and catch her breath, on the verge of tears.

"But you're Barney," she said taking a step closer to his bed while he sat up. "You can't..." Tears started to come down her cheek as she took a seat on Barney's bed and he wrapped a comforting arm around her. "You can't... You're Barney... Barney doesn't... Barney can't... you're Barney!..." She cried on his shoulder, babbling incoherent phrases and random words until he was able to soothe her.

**--**

"There, you feel better?" He asked delicately placing a flock of hair behind her ear. She nodded, blowing her nose with some Kleenex from Barney's bedside. As much as he hated to see her cry, Barney loved being this close to her; she was practically on his lap. "You sure?" He asked, his voice barely a whisper but she was close enough to hear. She looked at him, their faces barely inches apart, he was already staring at her, trying to memorize every detail before she got up to leave.

"Yeah..." She didn't get up; instead she leaned in closer. Barney's pulse raced as the woman he loved was now half an inch from him. He swallowed, unwilling to let himself move in to kiss her; he had to let her. If he made the first move, she would freak out and run out. If she made the first move... he had a shot.

Robin observed his face, his desperate blue eyes, she tried to find a hint, just a hint, to prove he was lying; but she couldn't find it. He didn't even move in to kiss her. What if he really did love her...?

"I can't say it back." She said losing her gaze in his eyes, they spoke in a quiet tone.

"I know."

"But I don't not... I just can't say it yet."

"I know, it took a bus accident to get me to admit it," he joke and they chuckled a little. When they stopped she moved in and kissed him.


End file.
